Sunday, September 09, 2012

Nerds and Neanderthals

A literary guide for the 2012 NFL season, care of New York Daily News.

From the piece...

Denver Broncos: Searching for a more beautiful brand of football, John Elway becomes infatuated with the talented Peyton Manning. In a vain attempt to hold on the glories of his youth, Manning strikes a deal with Elway in an attempt to retain his youth and delay the inevitable march of time.
Literary Equivalent: "The Picture of Dorian Gray" (Oscar Wilde)

Kansas City Chiefs:  
Last year everything seemed to go wrong for Kansas City (particularly losing young stars Jamaal Charles and Eric Berry for the season), and yet they managed to come out on the other side, if not better, then tougher. Now the team must regroup and find the strength to keep pushing despite past heartbreak. 
Literary Equivalent: "Play It As It Lays" (Joan Didion)

Oakland Raiders:
This season will be played in the shadow of departed owner Al Davis, a hard-living Californian who notoriously bypassed prudence in favor of speed (Exhibit A: Darius Heyward-Bey).  As the team races on, will Davis’s legacy be one of triumphant ecstasy or wasted potential? 
Literary Equivalent: "Less Than Zero" (Brett Easton Ellis)

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