Here's what I do if I want to write some humorous bit - I read the newspaper. Sure, there's stories about the financial crisis, about arson, about city council meetings, but there's also stories about a drunk driver smashing his El Camino into the front door of the local Loaf 'N Jug. Silly stories can be gleaned from that just due to the fact that it was a Loaf 'N Jug. That alone is worthy of much literature. Perhaps there can be an anthology of Loaf 'N Jug related writings, whether it be a short story, a sonnet, perhaps a choka? Oh, it's possible.
So, you take a serious or not so serious headline, play with the words and you can come up with most anything. For instance, there's a big stink in the state of Washington about standardized testing. There's a raging debate over the validity of the WASL (Washington Assessment of Student Learning), an exam for kids to take on reading, mathematics, science, and writing.
On its own? Not a very interesting story that'll make someone chuckle. Then again, it COULD be entertaining (I hope so, anyway), if you just changed the name of the test...
First there was the WASL. That test, as well as most all standardized testing, continues to spark controversy in Washington’s public schools, hurting students where it hurts most – graduation. Take, for instance, Bellevue High School senior Randy Vance. He’s received good grades throughout his high school career. He’s never received anything below a B. He’s active in student government and plays fullback for the perennial powerhouse Bellevue Wolverine football team. Teachers think he’s a whiz and student peers call him a friend. He, however, will not graduate if he fails once again the test that he must pass to graduate – the Wassailing Test.
Vance has already passed the WASL. The Washington Assessment for Student Learning (WASL) is a standardized based assessment adopted by the state of Washington as part of the Outcome Based Education movement. The assessments include multiple-choice, short answer, essay, and problem solving tasks. Though controversial, the WASL was a snap, according to Vance. “I did the WASL my sophomore year,” he says at his home in the Bridle Trails neighborhood, “and I did well on all four sections. The WASL was easy. It’s the wassailing I’m having trouble with.”
The Wassailing Test, adopted by schools in the early 1990s to combat the youth of America the much beloved tradition of Christmas caroling, was developed by the Singing Guild for Learning, based in Hartford, Connecticut. 37 states currently have laws, including Washington who signed it into law in 2004, that says students must past the Wassailing Test if they want to graduate.
”The test is rather straightforward,” says wassailing advocate Lance Grumbell, who is president of Wassailing Washington, a grassroots organization based in Olympia who helped shuttle the test into law. “First, a multiple-choice section highlighting wassailing history.” The practice of wassailing, singing door-to-door for refreshments, has roots in the middle ages as a reciprocal exchange between the feudal lords and their peasants as a form of recipient initiated charitable giving, to be distinguished from begging.
”Secondly, a testing of Christmas carol lyrics,” Grumbell continues. “The test lists songs such as ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas,’ and the student must write the lyrics.” Figgy pudding plays a large role in this section of the test. “Thirdly, everyone must make figgy pudding and bring it to class for a taste test.” The best figgy puddings pass. “The ones,” Grumbell says, “that aren’t figgy enough fail.”
”I’ve made so much figgy pudding,” Vance says, “my eyes are brown.” His eyes were brown before the testing began. He was born with brown eyes.
”Finally, testers must go through a traditional wassail ceremony.” The traditional ceremony has undeniable connections to paganism, pre-Christianity. The purpose at that time was to awake the cider apple trees and to scare away evil spirits to ensure a good harvest of fruit in autumn.” At Bellevue High School faculty play the evil spirits and staff play the cider apple trees. Why not real spirits and real cider apple trees? “They’re hard to find,” Grumbell admits.
The controversy is raging. Vance’s parents question the need for such a test. “My boy wants to be an architect. He’s already been accepted to Stanford. He has to wassail to get there?! Make figgy pudding?! It’s a travesty.” WA-Failing, a collective of former teachers and legislative lobbyists agree. “No one wassails anymore. The test is antiquated. You don’t see kids rolling hoops down hills with sticks or playing crack-the-whip do you? You don’t see kids droving, do you? They used to help their families drove their stock. Should we have a drovers test?!” The United States Drovers Council is considering legislative action to standardize droving tests in public schools.
There is also the question of church so ingratiated with the public school system. “Muslim students need to wassail?” Asks WA-Failing spokesperson Clement Moore. “What about Buddhists who don’t believe in its Christian and/or pagan roots? How about those that practice Shinto? How can anyone forget Shinto?”
When asked about the separation of the religious-based wassailing ceremony and public schools, Washington’s Superintendent of Public Instruction Terry Bergeson dismisses complaints. “Tough,” she said. “Deal with it. We say the Pledge of Allegiance, under God, and we have all the Ten Commandments posted most everywhere. So, wassail, kid, or shut your trap.”
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