Tuesday, February 26, 2013

8 Gross Superpowers Superman Doesn't Even Realize He Has

The list, care of io9.

From said list...

4. Sneezing

This is actually one of Superman's bodily functions we have evidence for! See, when a regular human sneezes, he/she expels up to 40,000 droplets of snot at over 100mph. So what would you expect if Superman's sneezed? Work as a powerful shotgun blast? Cover his opponents with sticky but unbreakable piles of snot? Knock over nearby structures? Nope.


This is an actual panel from Action Comics #273, in which Mr. Mxyzptlk drops a ton of sneezing powder on all of Metropolis, and Superman has to leave our entire goddamn dimension and find another dimension with no one living in it to sneeze in. WHICH ANNIHILATED AN ENTIRE SUN AND ALL OF ITS PLANETS. Healing tears seem pretty reasonable now, don't they?

But: No buts. The man sneezed and destroyed a goddamn universe. There's absolutely no use handing him a Kleenex. Oh, and in case you're wondering why this is on a list of powers Superman doesn't know he has, I guarantee to you in the new 52 he's forgotten this little event (and because it's completely awesome).

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