"Before night's end, Rudolph's nose will shine no more," exclaimed Blitzen to the other reindeer.
"No shit," Cupid said. "Where's OUR goddamn Christmas carol? Who sings about Donner?" He nudged his head towards Donner, their antlers almost becoming entangled.
"Don't I deserve a song?" Donner asked angrily. "I was on the team years before that little pip came along."
"He's gonna' get it," Comet said. "Hard."
"How should we do it?" Dasher asked eagerly. "Whose gonna' do it?"
"Let's team up," Vixen said. "Like Donner said, we've all done our time. What, Rudolph comes in, lights his nose one stinkin' Christmas Eve, and he's going down in history?! Oh no, he's just going down!"
"I know an elf," Prancer said. "He's got a gun."
"No shit?"
"I'm serious. It's small caliber but at close range, right in the back of the head? Rudolph is fucking venison."
"The elf will let us borrow it? I mean, for just the one night?"
"Totally."
They all shook their heads. Their antlers became entangled. "Shit." Twenty minutes later they weren't tangled anymore.
"But," Prancer said, "it comes with a price."
"He can have our fantasy flying dust," Dancer said. "I'm tired of flying. Have Santa get some other reindeer. Fat ass."
"The elf wants the nose."
"No way," Donner said. The others shook their heads. Their antlers became entangled. "Shit." Fifteen minutes later they weren't tangled anymore.
"It's our best option...Just think. Come Christmas we'll be leading the sleigh and Rudolph will be freakin' spiced jerky."
They all laughed.
"You go to that elf," Blitzen said. "You get that gun. Let's see how Rudolph likes THIS reindeer game."
They all laughed again.
"That little shit is going down. We're through just calling him names."
"No shit," Cupid said.
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